“Beautiful in a different way…”

“When you’re an entrepreneur, most people think you enjoy challenge and risk, but I am not a risk taker. I enjoy eating the same meal at the same restaurant every time. I don’t want to try something new. I’d be in the same apartment we rented if it wasn’t for my husband. He’s the risk taker, pushing me into challenges. I was so nervous, I did not want to have kids. I didn’t want to buy a house. I didn’t want to get our storefront. I didn’t want to hire employees. Every step, I’ve said I’m happy where I am, and he constantly tells me I’ll be happier with the change.

Now, the more I see the fruit of risk, the more I’ve been willing to risk, but it’s still a crazy up-and-down. You just never know. You just have to learn to embrace it. I remember a year into my business, I started having chest pains all the time, my fingers and toes were turning blue, I had a heart monitor… I literally thought I was dying. I went to my doctor and after some tests she said, ‘everything is fine, you just need a psychologist.’ I didn’t even realize how much anxiety I had. I don’t express it that often, but I had just been internalizing all of it. Realizing it was all that it took for me. I never had chest pains again. It was a mind thing. I just had to get over the fact that things are uncomfortable and that in my life risk is real every single day. I embraced it, then things started turning around for me.

I also think faith plays a huge role in how I view risk. I watch God provide… he definitely has, time and time again. God’s always orchestrating things that we don’t even understand. I used to pray and ask for things that I thought were best, but I feel like in the last 5 years, I’ve almost stopped asking for much and started saying, ‘guide me into your best.’ Worst case scenario, he has something different in store, something that looks beautiful in a different way. Trusting day by day and learning to let go. After all, every day really is a risk for everyone, isn’t it?”