Growing up, all I wanted was to become a theater actress. Movies were great because that's where the money was, but theater is where the passion and the live reaction is and that's what I fed off. I loved that. At any moment, I could either make people cry or make people laugh. And every night it was something different.
Now, I'm a news anchor on television. I miss the energy of the live theater. On broadcast television, I make this connection with so many people, and they think they're making this connection with me; but it's a one way street. I'm simply the medium delivering the information, so I don't get experience their reactions. I don't get to hear them laugh. I don't get to see them cry.
Plus, news is completely different. News is about real life. Art and theater are created to elicit some sort of feeling. Real life isn't created to elicit feelings, it just does.
Sometimes I forget that as part of the media, I’m affecting people’s lives. Of course, you’re going to have your own opinions. You’ll agree or disagree with what your hearing, but somewhere in the back of your head is that person’s voice or a sentence from an news article that stands out. Maybe you’ll start repeating it, and then suddenly this person or organization has affected you or changed you. And there’s some weight that comes with that. So I struggle sometimes with openness: this is me, no apologies. I can’t reveal too much of myself. I want to be authentic, but not polarizing.
I have to derive pleasure in different ways now. I have to take pleasure in finding stories that uncover the truth. Stories that have the potential for profound change. There's definitely pleasure in those things. I just don't know if I found that story yet. I haven't uncovered it quite yet.