Troy Stories

Sometimes it's hard to get into the holiday spirit because my wife is battling lymphoma, but I find joy in the hope that we'll beat this and I'll have her with me for many Christmases to come. She's been doing treatments for the last few months and it seems like they're working. It's already a hard time of year because I lost my sister to cancer 14 years ago at Christmas. But we really like the Troy Victorian Stroll.  We get to get dressed up in festive clothes and walk the streets. People come up and take our picture. We get to see everyone celebrating and mingling. It just really helps us get in the holiday spirit and find some joy in tough times.

There are days when Troy puts on big events like this Victorian Stroll, and it really makes it worth living here. I don’t know… it might sound corny, but I really like living here. It’s a good day... especially when you've got friends who have a good sense of humor. Then no matter what the situation is, they’re always good for a laugh. This from a guy in a stovepipe hat! *laughs*

I love and hate Troy. It’s not as good as it used to be. I’m probably going to be leaving soon. I’m real close to retirement.

And then what?

Oh, I'm planning to have some fun.

It’s easy to get involved with drugs these days, especially where I live, but I try to stay focused on positive things.

Like, I stay focused on basketball. I’ve been playing since I was five. It’s an escape from reality for me, you know? When I'm playing basketball, I'm not worrying about anything else like getting shot, getting arrested, all that stuff. It's just... basketball.

You can do everything you're supposed to do and still not have things turn out okay. That's just how it happens, I guess.

Don't criticize people's coping mechanisms, especially if you don't know all that they're going through. Maybe their coping mechanism is why they're talking to you in the first place. Maybe they're only talking to you because they wanted to let you know that they're struggling.

When you've got chronic illness, you're already dealing with shit everyday. Sometimes when life throws stuff at you it's on top of everything else you have to deal with, and not everyone understands that.

It's tough being a mom nowadays. I'm just trying to stay active and to keep up with everything—but it just feels like life keeps going faster and faster.

The thing I love most in life right now is my freedom. Freedom to live in the moment, to listen. You have to keep your eyes open. Flow with things. Be happy. Be content. Enjoy the ride.

We all have struggles.

Struggles are the building blocks of life. If you don't have any, how do you expect to learn or to change?

It's all part of human evolution. That's how we grow.

My job situation has always been a struggle.  I just moved into this area from Albany.  I felt like I should look for something in Troy since it's easier to get around here.  I spend much time seeking employment. What money I am getting from social security is not enough. I would like to get some part-time job for some extra money. There's a few places I applied, but I haven't heard back. I just have to keep trying.

For many years, I was homeless and in a shelter, but I had faith in God and he helped me through all that. Now I’ve got a place of my own. Of course, you have to be careful out there because life is tough, but don't give up. Keep trying. Don't lose faith. Faith is very important to me. I say prayers on Fridays and special occasions, and I make sure I praise God for what He did for me and what He’s doing for me.

I studied astronomy in China, but I'm studying robotics here because it's hard to find a doctorate degree in America.

Do you feel like you're doing okay in school?

Not really.

Is there anything giving you hope?

No. Just... survive. We learn that from history, yes? You just have to survive.

The people you’re talking to right now? We call ourselves “5th Avenue's Finest." We all grew up together, and we’re still here. We can tell you all the bad and the good about this town.

I don’t like how the kids fight up here. We really got nothing out here for the kids, like the boys club we had. They need sports clubs, boxing clubs... Even something like electronics, games, computer, technology—that’s the only thing that will keep kids out of trouble. They need all that. But little kids out here don’t have those avenues. And it’s so expensive to get in. Honestly, what kind of parent has the kind of money you need to keep those kids in there? How are they gonna keep kids out of trouble? I know as times change, the economy changes but what about the kids? You gotta give them something to do! They got nothing to do except run around out here.

There’s nothing left of Troy. They take care of the downtown area, but not up here. You can probably see the difference. They treat it all nice... painted it all up. But up here? It’s… well, it is what it is. They’re taking things down instead of putting things up and giving back to the community. There used to be buildings, but they’re knocking them down. It used to be so beautiful.

Now it’s quiet. We had a lot of things, but now there are just empty spaces. We used to play football with the kids in the lots. My house burned down, so we moved down the street. My uncle owned this house behind me. My grandmother lived in the second floor, my uncle in the first. There used to be a store over here: Tony’s… and the people who owned it still lived on the block!

When I was a kid, we had things, but now… it’s gone. It’s all downtown.

Without a doubt my greatest struggle is balancing business and family. When I started my business, my boys were 14 and 16. Now they’re 20 and 18. It’s a little better because they don’t need me as much any more, but don’t ever ever ever start a business when your kids are young.

At a certain age you become self-conscious. Your ego starts to play more of a role than the other part of your spiritual self, which is the one that begins to grow when you get older.

But the basic truth in my life? You have to have gratitude for everything. Gratitude. If you're not thankful, nothing will come back to you. It's a recycling kind of energy. What you give will eventually come back.

I’ve been all over the place. Out of 52 states, I’ve been to forty-something, and I liked them all.

Where does your joy come from?

I have a very good life! I have joy every day because I have God. I'm singing and dancing when I go to church… that is why I have such great joy! *laughs*

The struggles I'm having right now are good. They're good struggles.

I'm in recovery right now. The kind of stuff I had to deal with in addiction was hell. Now that I've got the right mindset... I can't forget that no matter how far I get away from it, I'm still always just one step away. It's tough trying to find balance and keep on the right side of that struggle. That's probably the biggest thing I'm learning right now: having a healthy balance of everything.

Our relationship is fairly new. Getting used to having a life of my own but also a life with somebody else and trying to balance out the two... that's a struggle too, but it's a struggle that I like to have. It's worthwhile having someone be able to put things in a different perspective.

When you're in addiction, that's really what your relationship is... I haven't been in a relationship in several years because my relationship was with a drug. Now that's out of the picture, I have someone I truly care about and love and can put the same kind of effort into that I put into addiction—but in a healthy way. It feels good. It feels better. I can wake up every day and know that I'm doing the right thing.

What's your greatest struggle in life?

Money. Is that too superficial? It's the thing I think about the most—that causes me the most stress, anyway.

I've learned not to care about money very much. I’ve put myself in situations where I didn’t have material means, and found myself feeling very free and happy and not very worried. I think that worrying about your material situation definitely creates unhappiness.

If you could say something to someone struggling with money, what would you tell them?

Give away everything you own. *laughs* I’m a hypocrite. I haven’t done that, but I do think that’s what would make me happy if I could bring myself to do it.

What keeps you from doing that?

Habit, I guess. I’m in the habit of owning things, and it’s a hard habit to break. Someday I’ll get over it.

Don’t get involved with drugs. Just don’t do it. I heard so many people I know talking about how much they love drugs, so I tried it, and… it didn’t go well.

What happened?

Well, let’s just say, I managed to not get arrested today.

I'm a unicorn!